Lost and Found
by ChippedCups-BrokenHearts
Summary: Kate never thought she would get to experience meeting the love of her life twice. However when a murder suspect pushed her down a flight of stairs leaving her brain damaged, she was shocked to find out that she was engaged to her favorite author. (Rated T for further chapters)
1. Chapter 1

Castle

"Lost and Found."

"Beckett... Beckett!" A voice shouted.

"Someone call an ambulance!" A woman screamed.

Her eyes fluttered for a moment, the world in a blur and slowly they shut, the blackness engulfing her.

Why couldn't she open her eyes? Why couldn't she move? She could hear sirens and could feel her body being moved at a fast pace. Everyone sounded so scared, everything sounded so different, everywhere was black... Kate was becoming more and more scared. She felt alone and afraid of what was happening to her.

"We're losing her!" She heard.

"Charge to 200. Clear!" Another voice shouted.

The voices started to fade as she slowly drifted away, in to the darkness, all alone.

* * *

"Castle you can't go in there." Ryan shouted.

"Beckett's in there, she needs me!" He said, his voice shaking.

"No, what she needs is for the doctors to do their jobs and they can't do that if you're in there. We're all scared and we all want to go running in to that room, but we can't. Don't worry Castle, she's gonna be okay." Esposito told him.

The look on his face was the look of pure defeat. The woman he loves was in there and he couldn't do anything. She was dying, he was losing her and he was being told he couldn't do anything at all to help her.

One year they had been together, one short year. You could tell that they had regrets about waiting this long; he wished he could have admitted he loved her from the beginning, because right now he was losing her and he had only just gotten her. His heart was slowly breaking.

Her body jerked upwards as the defibrillators struck her for the last time.

"We have a pulse!" A nurse announced.

She was alive. It was a miracle.

She had been pushed down a flight of stairs by a murderer on the run. She had hit her head multiple times on the way down which had caused a bleed in the brain. But, she was alive.

Thank god.

A nurse came out to tell the boys the good news.

"She's stable, but we won't know more until the morning, I would suggest you let her rest and you should go do the same, I'm sure you're exhausted."

"No, no way, I'm staying here." Castle stated.

"Castle you–"

"Esposito, I understand that you're just trying to help but my fiancé is in there!"

"Fiancé?" Esposito and Ryan asked at the same time.

"Yeah..." He hung his head. "I asked her a couple of days ago, and she– she said yes." His lips breaking into a smile.

"Why didn't you tell us bro?" Esposito asked him.

"She– we, wanted to wait. She had a lot of decisions to make and she needed the time... And now this–" His voice broke, as a lump in his throat appeared.

Ryan put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, we got it, we will go back to the precinct and update everyone; you go and see her." Ryan consoled him.

Castle gave both Ryan and Esposito a nod of appreciation as he walked through the hospital room door. He took in a breath as he saw her laying there, lifeless. He felt as if all the air had been taken from him and he couldn't breathe.

"Kate." He gasped.

The look in his eyes was a look he had only had once before; when Beckett was shot. It was the look he got when he thought he had lost her. Hurt, pain, confusion and complete heartbreak. He slowly sat himself down on the chair next to the bed and took her hand in his.

He waited for hours, just watching her sleep, just waiting for her to wake. As his eyes became heavy and he was giving in to the tiredness, her eyes slowly started to open.

It took a couple of minutes for her eyes to adjust to the light. Castle felt a movement coming from beside him and looked to see her awake.

"Kate! You're awake! Are you okay?" He asked, his voice at a quick pace. "Here have this." He said quietly, passing her a cup of ice chips.

She slowly popped them in her mouth, not uttering a word.

"Everything's okay Kate, everything's going to be okay. I was... I was just so scared." He stuttered.

Tears started to well in her eyes. "Why– why are _you_ here?"

"Hey, Kate, don't cry, I'm not going anywhere." He took hold of her hand.

"Why are you calling me Kate? I don't– Please stop calling me that!" She asked him as she started breathing heavily.

Despite his effort, the tears started to spill over her cheeks. She was so scared and Castle didn't understand why she was so confused to hear her own name.

"We're okay, everything is going to be okay. Esposito and Ryan have gone back to the precinct to update Gates. Mother and Alexis will be here soon, we're going to be fine, Kate." He tried again.

He stroked a stray hair away from her eyes and leant forward to place a soft kiss to her lips. When he pulled away from her, he couldn't help but notice how scared she looked, tears falling from her eyes even faster. He didn't understand what was wrong, he knew this experience was hard but she looked so confused.

"You need to leave! Get out! Please get out!" She cried, bringing her knees to her chest, clutching them with her hands.

"I don't understand..." He moved forward.

"Please leave!_ Please, please, please._" She begged him, trying to stop the tears.

A nurse walked in having heard the disturbance. "Sir, you need to give her some time to adjust."

Then it clicked.

...She looked confused.

"You–" He took a deep breath, trying not to give in to the lump in his throat. "You don't know who I am... Do you?"

She started to cry even harder than before, she shook her head, tears dropping from her face.

She couldn't remember.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

Martha and Alexis came running through the hospital doors, their red hair bouncing simultaneously as they rushed towards him.

Rick just sat there, slumped over, with his head in his hands. He looked broken.

The two women stopped as they got closer noticing the tears falling down his face. He was crying. They assumed the worst straight away of course. Martha looked at Alexis before walking towards her son; she knew she had to be strong for him.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Oh god, Richard... Is she... Is she–"

"She's not dead mother." He mumbled, not bothering to take his head out of his hands.

"Well, that's great news isn't it?" She asked him, kneeling to his level. Rick didn't answer her this time; he just sat there like a statue, frozen.

"Dad, what's wrong? Is Kate going to be okay?" The tone of fear escaping Alexis' voice.

He brought his head up quickly at the sound of his daughter. "Oh Alexis, I'm so sorry, I– I forgot you were coming. I don't think you two should– maybe you should go home." He rambled.

"Nonsense, Richard. We love Kate just as much as you do, and we want to be here for when she wakes up." Martha told him sternly.

He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to break his mother's and his daughter's heart. He was broken himself. He felt as if he had smashed in to a thousand pieces the moment she told him she didn't remember.

How could she not remember?

They're Castle and Beckett. How could she forget that?

"She already woke up mother." He told her, trying to keep himself together.

"Kiddo, that's great news! Can we go and see her? We brought flowers." Alexis, who was listening, held up the bouquet of amaryllis. He always bought her those certain flowers because amaryllis stands for radiant beauty which is exactly what Kate has.

"I– she..." He began to speak but the words got caught in his throat.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath; he knew this wouldn't be easy. "She doesn't remember Alexis. She looked straight in to my eyes and told me to leave her alone. She told me she doesn't remember me." Despite his effort his voice broke on the last words.

It was silent for a short moment.

"Kate doesn't remember us?" Alexis asked heartbroken. "I– I thought she was fine! That it was just a fall! She was supposed to be okay! Right, dad? I mean she got shot, right in the chest and survived. Today she got pushed down the stairs and she's... She's not fine?"

"Alexis..." Martha interrupted.

"No! We were meant to be going to the Hampton's together, she– she was going to help me pick out my clothes." She took a deep breath and turned to her father, tears welling in her eyes. "She really doesn't remember us?"

He looked at her with sorrow. What was he supposed to say to make her feel better? He was heartbroken himself. He wasn't in any state to make anyone else feel better. The love of his life had woken up this morning, gave him a kiss and told him she loved him. She didn't do this often but he had made her coffee and breakfast, it was a good morning. He loved hearing her say it. He made her tell him it just to make him smile. He never thought that would be the last time. He hadn't even said it back.

It had taken her five years to build up the confidence to say it back, to break down that wall of hers and let him in. How long would he have to wait this time? Could he wait?

No, what was he saying? Of course he could wait!

There was a woman in there scared to death because she couldn't remember her own life and he was sitting here feeling sorry for himself.

"Castle!" Esposito shouted, who had been trying to get his attention.

"Oh, god I'm so glad you're here. She– Kate doesn't remember me... I don't know what to do."

"Hey, bro, calm down. What did the doctor say?"

"He said that she has, uh, short term memory loss, she doesn't remember roughly the past six years of her life." He told him quietly.

"Which means she doesn't remember you..."

"Exactly... or any of what has happened in the past six years. So that's everything that happened between us; gone."

Esposito watched Alexis' face fall as Castle explained what had happened. "Oh man, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to talk to her?" He asked sincerely.

Rick gave him a nod and then turned back to his mother and daughter. Martha wrapped her arms around Rick and pulled him in to a big hug. It wasn't often she had to be the strong one, but she knew that her son and his daughter were hurting and it was her job to make them happy again.

* * *

Esposito knocked on the hospital room door and slowly walked inside to see Kate still wiping away tears. "Beckett."

"Espo, hi." She smiled.

"I'm glad you remember me, I heard you weren't doing so well."

"Yeah... Well, that's what they tell me." She paused for a moment before continuing to ask him a question he didn't expect. "Hey, Espo? Why did um... **Richard Castle** just– why did he kiss me?"

He sighed and slipped down in to the chair beside her bed. "Look Beckett, it's complicated, you have a lot to deal with right now– wait a sec, you remember him?"

"Remember him? I met him once at a book signing. I mean, I know him, not personally, but he's my favourite author. So why did this famous writer come into my room and start talking to me like I know him? It just doesn't make sense! I don't understand." The tears started to form in her eyes again.

He reached out and put his hand on hers. "It's okay that you're confused, you've been through a lot." He could see how frustrated she was with herself. "Hey, Beckett, it's going to be okay, we're gonna get through this. When have I ever let you down before?"

He saw her smirk. "Well let's see, just last month you told me you had my back and I looked around and you completely disappeared!" She let out a small laugh. "Okay, yeah, you broke in through the top window and took him down but that doesn't make it better. I still don't know how you did that!"

He stared at her, his smile fading. "Which case was that? I don't remember."

"You know, the Johnson case. The little girl who found her own mother– It was the sister in law, remember?"

"Beckett... That case was six years ago."

He saw her take in a deep breath as her face dropped. She was trying her hardest not to cry. "I'm really tired so maybe you should go."

He nodded and stood, walking towards the door. "We're gonna fix this Beckett, I promise.

"God, I hope so." She whispered.

* * *

Two days had gone by; the longest 48 hours of Richard Castle's life.

It was time for Kate to come home. It was time for Kate to learn the truth. They couldn't carry on waiting for her to remember, she was ready to come home and the loft is her home. Since they didn't renew the lease on her apartment she had no other place to stay. Castle and Jim met up the day before to discuss how they would handle Kate's new life, and they had both agreed it would be better to start where they had left off.

_"I really can't imagine what you are going through Jim, I'm so sorry."_

_"Rick, will you please stop apologising. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not heartbroken, but she remembers me... she doesn't remember you." He saw Castle frown at his statement. "So no, it's me who can't imagine what you're going through."_

_"It's just been so hard. I have no idea what to say to her. She told me not long ago that when we first met she had no feelings for me. In her words she thought I was 'an ass'. Kate has grown to love me, so what if now I try to be myself around her and she thinks I'm an ass again?" He asked, sounding unsure of himself._

_"You need to stop panicking. Just try and remind her of the life she had with you. I want her to stay at your home, not mine, that wouldn't benefit her."_

_"Are you sure?" _

_"Rick, I want what's best for my daughter." He smiled at him. "And that's you."_

On the way to the hospital he played Kate's fathers words in his head over and over, trying to re-establish the faith that he had in himself.

As he walked slowly down the third floor of the hospital he became nervous.

"Just be yourself." He murmured.

He saw her, sat on the edge of her bed waiting to come home. Although she wasn't fully better, to him she looked perfect; which did not help his confidence one bit. All he wanted to do was hold her and kiss her. He had thought that he had lost her, little did he know, he truly had.

"Hey, Kate."

"Hi, um Richard?" She asked shyly.

He sighed. "You can call me Rick or Castle if you'd prefer."

"How come you're here... Rick?" She said unsure of how that sounded.

"I think we need to talk first, then you can understand why I'm here instead of your dad."

"Um, okay." She replied, clearly confused.

"Look, I know this is going to sound crazy to you and it would sound crazy to me too if I were in your position. But here it goes; my name is Richard Castle–"

"I know who you are." She smiled.

"You do?" He asked her, a slight glimmer of hope escaping his voice.

"Of course I do. You're Richard Castle, the bestselling author. My mother loved your books." She told him, as if he had never heard of Johanna before.

"Yes... that's true. However, that's not how you know me." He carefully sat next to her on the edge of the bed. "Five years ago there were some murders inspired by my books and I had the pleasure of joining you on the case. I had so much fun; I decided to make it a long term thing."

He studied her facial expressions in hope of a sign of remembrance... nothing.

"It went on for four years. We solved a lot of crimes together. We make a really good team, if I may say so myself." He smiled. "Something happened to you two years ago, you got shot in your chest, and you almost died." He said the last part in almost a whisper.

"So that's where the scar came from." She murmured.

"That's when I told you– I told you that I loved you." Her eyes shot up to meet his instantly.

"You– you love me?" She asked in disbelief.

"With all my heart." He noticed the confused look appear on her face again. "But, don't worry about that right now, just listen to the rest of the story... okay?" She nodded. "Okay, for a year you denied knowing that I loved you and denying that you felt the same way... Until last year. You came to my loft and you kissed me." Her mouth dropped at his words.

"I did?" She asked shocked.

"You did, and I kissed you back. We've been seeing each other for a year now, and five days ago, I asked you to marry me." He told her, holding out the ring he had in his pocket. "You said yes." He smiled.

"I don't remember any of this." She told him in a frustrated tone.

"I don't expect you to. My point is, is that I talked to your father yesterday and we have decided it would be best if you came home, to our home."

"But I don't remember it, I don't remember you."

He tried not to show how hurt he was. But, boy did that hurt. "But maybe you will. Maybe this will help you; maybe this is what you need."

"What if it's not?" She shot back.

"You don't know that. Just please come home, please."

"But, I can't– I can't remember." She looked at him, he looked so wounded. She truly believed him when he had told her he loved her; the look in his eyes had proved it. She just didn't understand why Richard Castle loved her. You'd think if someone as famous and as handsome as him walked in to your life and told you he loved you, you would surely remember.

She couldn't imagine being his girlfriend, never mind his wife. It sounded so unrealistic, almost like a dream.

She had always eventually wanted to settle down, so why not with him?

What would it hurt to give this a go? He loved her and there was a chance she still loved him. If she wanted the past 6 years of her life back, she needed to try.

She confidently put her hand on his. "But, I can try."

* * *

**Here's chapter two! **

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	3. Chapter 3

Kate was putting on a smile even though they both knew it was fake. She didn't remember him, she didn't remember this life. It didn't seem real to her. She was really trying but they both knew that she didn't want to be here. It would be far easier for her to stay at her father's house; she remembered it there, she liked it there.

It's just that Richard Castle was being so kind to her and he had looked devastated when he had discovered her memory loss. He was also her favorite author and what kind of fan would she be if she didn't take up his offer to spend time with him?

Kate walked slowly around the loft, taking it all in. She was pleased to see that his place was full of books and not just his own. It was homely; it just was not her home.

"Then we decided it would be easier if you just lived here since you spent most of your time at my place anyway. You decided last month not to renew your lease." He explained.

"Okay." She smiled awkwardly.

He had a sympathetic look on his face as he watched her gaze around the loft. "I'm sorry. I get this is hard for you." He put his hand on her arm and her eyes immediately reacted to the touch.

Richard Castle was touching her arm.

It took everything she had not to freak out. This was her favorite author; she had a huge crush on him and he was touching her arm.

She was Kate Beckett, Detective Kate Beckett, she could act cool.

"No, it's fine. I understand what it's like to lose someone so... I'll try as hard as I can not to let that happen to you."

It's true that she would never normally open up like that or be as compassionate to a stranger. But, she knew that there was a trust here, she could see it in his eyes. If she wanted her memories back, she had to let him in, she needed to try.

He gave her a faint smile. "I know." He paused for a small moment and then continued. "It's going to be hard for you to accept that I know almost everything about you, isn't it?"

"I find it hard to believe you know everything about me."

"I've followed you for four years and I've based four books on you, I think it's highly possible that I do."

"You- you wrote a book about me?" She asked in disbelief.

"I wrote four." He smiled. "You're a very interesting woman."

"I am?" She asked, a smile coming to her lips and a bright pink blush settling on her cheeks.

"I forgot how much you undermine yourself." He laughed. "When we first met you were this hard shell that no one could crack in to... you're still the same now–"

"Are you trying to flatter me? Because I don't think this is how you do it."

He smirked, there's the Kate he remembers. "No, I'm just saying that you're a hard woman to figure out, Katherine Beckett."

She grimaced at her name. "Don't call me Katherine, I feel like I'm in trouble with the principle."

"You never let me call you Katherine!" He frowned. "Looks like that much hasn't changed."

"Definitely not." She smiled.

* * *

As she lay there, in the guest bedroom, her mind began to wonder.

She wanted this life with him, it truly did sound like a fairy tale. But that's the problem with fairy tales, they're never real. She wanted to remember so she could be with him but mostly so she could remember why they were together and how it worked.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and started to walk to the kitchen. She was wearing her pajama shorts instead of the thick trousers she was wearing earlier because of the heat. Kate stood at the kitchen island unsure of what would come next. It all seemed so surreal. She was engaged to Richard Castle; how did that even happen? She sighed and put her head into her hands.

Rick walked out of his bedroom seconds later to find Kate slumped over the kitchen counter. He was showing real strength by standing away from her opposed to walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist like he had wanted to do.

She propped up her head and noticed him standing there. "Hey." She whispered.

"Hey. Couldn't sleep?" He smiled.

"Not really, I've just got all these unanswered questions in my head. It's... distracting."

"Well maybe I could help you with that." He told her as he walked towards the couch, hinting for her to follow.

She slumped beside him. "How does this work?" She noticed the confused expression on his face and tried to elaborate. "Us... how do we work? I mean, I'm a cop and you're- you're** Richard Castle**."

He laughed to himself.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. Well, it's just I've never seen you act like this. I knew you were a fan of my books, even though you told me that wasn't true many times but, it's strange to see you think of me as 'Richard Castle' and not just... Castle."

"That does sound quite like me I suppose. I made detective a few years ago and it made me a tougher person, and I didn't think that would be possible."

"You're right; you're a tough person to get to know. It was worth it though." He put his hand on top of hers.

She sat there looking at his hand for a moment. It didn't feel like it belonged there. She really wished that this felt normal, that it felt right, that she could remember his touch... but she couldn't. It wasn't long ago that she was with Will. He had taken a job in another state and she had no desire to follow him. It wasn't that she didn't love him; she did, it was just that she was young and her job meant a lot to her, she wasn't about to throw that away.

But, his hand still sat there, gently placed on hers. He wanted her to be this person she didn't remember. She pulled her hand away from his.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, I get it, I'm sorry." He cut her off.

She smiled. "You know, I was one of the youngest uniforms to make detective? Captain Montgomery told me that I was worth the risk, that he believed I could do it. I assume you've met the Captain, you said you worked with me, right?"

His face fell.

He had completely forgotten what this had meant. She didn't remember the last six years; that means she didn't remember anything that had happened between then and now. She thinks Montgomery is alive, she doesn't know how much they learnt about her mother's murder, she doesn't know about the people who tried to kill her or how a sniper put a bullet in her heart. She had forgotten so many things. Just how much of this was he supposed to tell her? She had suffered from PTSD after her shooting, was he supposed to make her relive that?

What was he supposed to do?

"What's wrong?" She asked nervously.

"Kate." He sighed.

"Did I say something?"

"No, no it's not your fault... it's just- I'm going to hold your hand, okay?" She nodded and he took hold of her hand, squeezing it tight. "Two years ago there was a breakthrough in a case... in your mother's murder."

"My mother's murder? You- you know about that?" She asked, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, I do. You told me when we first met that I had to leave it alone... but I didn't."

She dropped his hand instantly. "You looked at her files? I- I've just stopped this, you have to stop telling me- I can't go through this again." She told him shaking.

"Kate, you have to listen to me right now. We got past this, you were very mad at me for a long time but it was relevant to a case that we were working on. We found some more victims that resembled to the way your mother was killed." He was watching her face, she looked so torn up and confused. There were tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat; but he had to continue.

"We dove deeper into the case and we found all these links-" He got cut off.

"You have to stop, please you have to stop." She told him, tears running down her face. "I don't remember this. I- I worked so hard to figure out my mom's case and now you're telling me we did? No, I can't do_ this_ again, I can't."

She went to stand up but he caught her wrist. "Beckett, you need to know all this. You've got to understand that it's a big deal; you need to remember."

They were now standing a foot apart. He was looking in to her eyes and she was looking back. All of a sudden she shrugged his arms off of her.

"No Castle, you've got to understand that I can't remember!" She turned around and walked straight out of the loft to God knows where.

* * *

It was 2.36 AM when Castle's phone rang.

"Richard Castle." He answered.

"Rick... Can you come get me?"

"Kate! Where are you?"

* * *

**I know I said it would be fluffy and happy but just bare with! It's coming.**

**I hope you liked this chapter, I'm sorry that it took so long. **

**THE FOLLOWS AND REVIEWS, JUST WOW. Thank you! Please keep them coming, I'm open to suggestions.**

**Iges, love to you as always. **

**My instagram is Crazyfor_Caskett and my twitter is elliscookie feel free to follow!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well I thought you deserved a bit of fluff.**

* * *

Hey there. Sleep well?" Castle asked as he saw a sleepy Beckett emerging from the living room.

"It was good." She smiled. "Rick, thank you for last night I–"

"Don't mention it. Oh, I forgot to tell you; Alexis is coming home from college today to just, you know, see how you're doing."

"Alexis? Oh right, your daughter. Okay, well I should probably go get ready."

Rick's face dropped when Kate failed to remember Alexis, something that didn't go unnoticed. "I made you coffee." He forced a smile as he handed it to her.

"Thank you." She took a moment to think of the right thing to say before settling on an apology; an apology, which she had made at least twenty times. "I'm really sorry Rick, I am trying to remember."

"No, don't worry about it, Kate." The way he said her name, it gave her butterflies. She was most definitely not attracted to him right now and she was most definitely not staring at his lips and– nope, most definitely not.

"I wasn't going to say anything but last night when we were arguing–"

Kate buried her head in her hands. "Oh God, this is embarrassing."

He laughed. "We use to have a lot of arguments, it's normal!"

"We did?" She questioned. "Why?"

"Not really big ones, I just usually said something stupid or did something stupid."

"I can't imagine you ever messing up. You're too per–" She kicked herself. She needs to stop acting like a teenager with a huge crush on the cutest guy in school.

"I'm too...?" He repeated.

"Hm? What?"

He smirked. "Why Kate Beckett, do you think I'm too perfect to mess up?" He asked, emphasising the word 'perfect'.

"Can we just get back to the point please?"

"The point? Right, yes. Anyway, as I was saying; before you interrupted to tell me how perfect I am." He said wiggling his eyebrows. "Last night when we were arguing, you called me Castle."

"Yes... And?" She asked, looking confused.

"Well ever since we got home, you've been calling me Rick, which is completely fine! However, usually you use to call me Castle. Apart from when we were in bed then I was Rick; actually one time I was–"

"Okay! That's enough of that story!" Kate interrupted quickly. "I'm gonna go and, um, get r-ready, so I'll be back, uh, soon." She stuttered as she quickly walked out of the room.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, Kate!" She heard him call as she shut the door and leant up against it.

She had slept with Richard Castle, many times she presumed. Suddenly her face got all hot and her cheeks turned bright red. It all sounded so surreal, like a dream. Not that she would ever admit to having dreams about him. Okay, enough of that. She quickly jumped in to the shower and proceeded to get ready for Alexis coming.

* * *

An hour later she had her hair in a neat pony tail and light make up on her face. She had squeezed into a pair of skinny jeans and added her leather boots and a baggy top. She looked gorgeous, which is exactly what Castle was thinking as she walked in to his office.

"You look good." He told her.

"Thanks." She replied shyly. "Do we need to go pick Alexis up?"

"Yeah, we should probably set off actually." He told her looking at his watch.

"Okay, let's go then." She started to walk towards the door and Castle's eyes were glued to her bottom half, what she was doing to him in those extremely tight jeans. He had completely zoned out when he heard her speak again. "You comin' Castle?"

He scrambled to his feet and followed her out of the door. To say that she was screaming at him to leave her alone just four days ago, they had developed pretty well. She looked like she felt fairly comfortable around him, which was good. She was starting to find her way around the loft again. They talked, joked and argued like they had known each other for a long time; it felt like it was getting back to normal.

But, he didn't know that every night Kate cried herself to sleep. He didn't know how terrified she was when he told her things she couldn't recall or just how much Kate wanted to kiss him, just to remember how it felt.

He didn't know and nor would he ever know. Kate wasn't one to share what she felt; she had always been this way; ever since her mother's murder. She had put up this wall, one to stop people from getting in and getting close to her, because every time she let her walls down, she was shown why she shouldn't. It had happened with Will and it had happened with her ex-partner Royce, who she should probably call at some point. The point is that she has walls that do not break down easily.

Castles phone buzzed, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Could you get that for me?"

"Yeah, sure." She grabbed his phone and unlocked it. A moment later tears started to form in her eyes.

"Hey, Kate, what's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"Nothing." She smiled, staring at his screen saver. It was a picture of her, Castle, a teenage red head who she assumed was Alexis and an older red headed woman who she assumed was his mother. It was a picture from Christmas. Kate was wearing a bullet proof vest that had "writer's girl" on the front, Alexis had a leather jacket on that had the tags poking out of the side, Castle was kissing Kate on the cheek whilst hugging Alexis with the hand that wasn't holding a giant light sabre and Martha was watching them all with a huge smile across her face and a glass of wine in her hand.

He sighed in realisation. "Oh Kate, I'm sorry, I completely forgot about that."

"It's fine, honestly. It just took me by surprise was all. The text is from Alexis, telling us that she's waiting at Starbucks, where you usually meet." She went to put the phone back in the compartment but as she did so her hand brushed his. They both looked at each other, everything suddenly seeming so quite. She quickly retracted her hand and put it on her lap.

"I remember moments like this." He smiled in memory. "It's so crazy that it took us four years to get together, I mean I know you liked me from the very beginning."

"I'm certain that, that is not true." She retorted.

"Oh yeah? How would you know?"

"I may not remember that moment Castle, but I do remember myself and I'm not one to fall head over heels for some arrogant writer." She half joked.

"Arrogant huh? I thought you said I was perfect?" He teased.

"I did not say perfect, you're clearly delusional."

"Just like you are for saying you didn't have feelings for me straight away?"

"No, Mr Castle, what I am is realistic."

"Mr Castle? You can say that again, that was one of the sexiest things I've ever heard."

"You should hear me say fallacious." She flirted.

"Oh I have, it's almost as sexy as when you purr my name in to– I've just remembered how inappropriate this is and that I should probably stop."

She laughed. "Yeah, probably." He smiled at her and she smiled back. He really was handsome.

They arrived at the coffee shop not long after and met Alexis, who Kate thought was a lovely young woman. They decided to go out round New York rather than going back to the loft. They stopped at a nice little diner near Times Square when the hunger was too hard for any of them to dismiss.

"Regular table, Mr Castle?" A teenage waiter asked them. Castle nodded politely and he seated them in a booth near the window.

"Have we been here before?" Kate asked out of curiosity.

"We used to go here a lot before I went to college; you've been a couple of times with us on your days off and things." Alexis told her, trying not to give her too much information.

Kate scanned the menu. "So what do I usually get Alexis? I'll trust you to order for me, you seem observant enough."

"Yeah... She gets that from me." Castle interrupted. "One of the many great aspects of my personality that I have graced her with."

"Like modesty?" Kate joked.

"Exactly, and my good looks." He replied grinning.

"There's just so much modesty going on today." Kate said sarcastically. He laughed and subconsciously rested his hand on her thigh. When she twitched at the unexpected touch, his hand moved very quickly followed by an apology.

She wished she hadn't twitched; it wasn't as if it felt unnatural for his hand to be there.

"So, Kate." Alexis began, pulling her from her thoughts. "When do you think you will be going back to work?"

"Well I wanted to go back as soon as possible but Montgomery– no wait, what's her name? The new Captain?" She clicked her fingers. "Gates, that's it! Gates said I can't go back until next week and even then I'm going to be on desk duty until I'm cleared to go out into the field."

Both Alexis and Rick were giving her a sympathetic look as they noticed her slip up about Montgomery.

"Are you guys ready to order?" A waiter interrupted.

"Can we have three bacon burgers, three portions of fries, a vanilla milkshake and two cokes please." Alexis asked politely.

"Sure thing." He replied collecting their menus.

"Let me guess who the vanilla shake is for." Kate said narrowing her eyes at Castle.

"If they didn't want me to order it, they shouldn't have made it so delicious."

* * *

After the day was over Alexis had pulled Kate in to a big embrace and told her to come see her again soon. On the way back to the loft they drove in silence but both of them had huge smiles on their faces. Maybe Kate didn't need to remember; maybe they just had to rebuild what they used to have.

They walked into the building and he guided Kate by putting his hand on the small of her back. She was surprised but she didn't twitch this time; she was happy for him to have that small contact.

Kate wasn't stupid; she knew it was killing him not being able to hold her or kiss her, she understood that this was unnatural to him. As soon as they walked in to the loft Kate turned to face him.

"Thank you for today." She smiled, putting her hand on his arm and making a side note to herself that he had big arms.

"It was my pleasure. Thank you for putting up with me and Alexis."

"It was really fun actually. You have an amazing kid."

"I know." He smiled. "You contributed."

"I did?" She asked, very shocked by this statement.

"Yeah, you definitely did. Her mother is hardly ever here and over the past five years you've been that female figure in her life. You know, someone who she could talk to when I wasn't the right person."

"Well I'm sure it was no trouble at all." She dropped her hand from his arm and caught his hand, lightly grasping it. "Thank you for being so patient, Castle."

"Always."

* * *

**I thought that you awesome people deserved a long chapter after last week.**

**Thank you for your kind reviews! If you have anything you would like to see in further chapters just let me know and I will see what I can do.**

**Lots of Love to Iges.**

**Erin, my homeslice, love you girl.**

**THANK YOU FOR READING.**

** crazyfor_caskett (insta) elliscookie (twitter)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I feel obliged to inform you that I do not in any way have rights to Castle. **

**I know that you know that, since this is fanfiction. However, everyone else is informing their readers so I am informing you.**

* * *

It was 1.20AM and Beckett couldn't sleep; partly because her brain wouldn't stop thinking about everything that was going on in her life right now; which was a lot.

'Will he wait?' Was the biggest question on her mind.

Yes, she knows he loves her, but would he still love her in a year's time if she still didn't remember? He had waited five years to be with her, could she really ask him to wait any longer?

Kate plopped herself down in front of the TV, carelessly flicking through all the channels before settling on a crime drama movie. Something was missing... Popcorn! She started to raid all the cupboards for popcorn when she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.

_"Hi, I'm Richard Castle."_

She ran in to the living room stopping in front of the TV with her mouth wide open.

"Oh my God." She whispered. "No freaking way." She spoke louder this time.

She pressed information on the TV guide and read the movie description.

_'A behind the scenes look at the award winning movie 'Heat Wave'. Based on the 'Nikki Heat' collection, written by Best-selling author Richard Castle.' _

Kate was sat on the couch looking at her so called fiancé on the television. She was stunned when he heard him talk about her.

_"So, Rick– can I call you Rick?" The interviewer asked. _

_He laughed. "Of course."_

_"So, Rick, out of all the cops in Manhattan, what drew you towards Kate Beckett?"_

_"Well..." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "She's extraordinary." He told her honestly. _

_"What makes her so, as you put it, extraordinary?"_

_"Not only is she beautiful, she is extremely talented and extremely smart. You have to have a certain way of thinking when dealing with criminals, but Kate, she's something else. I've seen her in that interrogation room, she can empathise with them, she can manipulate them into giving her information and she can be tough; it's extremely sexy." He laughed at the last part. "Over the years of following her around, I've got to know her and inside this hard exterior, there is this amazing woman and she truly fascinates me and still continues to fascinate me every day."_

_"Why Richard Castle, how very sweet. Which brings me to my next question; are the two of you dating?"_

_He paused for a few seconds before answering her question. "No, no, we're just friends." He smiled. _

Kate was speechless. A man, who was only a room away, really did think the world of her, which was something she had never experienced. She now, more than ever, realised how much she had truly missed out on.

She looked back up to the screen to see Natalie Rhodes portraying 'Nikki Heat' answering a reporter's question.

_"I don't know, it might be because it's the one we're shooting, but out of all the Nikki Heat novels, this one is my favourite." Natalie told the woman interviewing her. _

Kate suddenly remembered the novels. There are multiple novels about her. She would be lying if she said this didn't make her fangirl.

_"Because of the steamy sex scene?" The interviewer joked. _

_"The man writes a few of them, but I think the one from 'Naked Heat' was most definitely the steamiest." Natalie laughed._

"Sex scene?" She asked aloud.

Before she knew it she was sneaking in to Rick's office, searching for the books. She moved past the Derrick Storm novels until she finally found them.

'Heat Wave', 'Heat Rises', 'Naked Heat'– her eyes widened.

She grabbed the book and started rummaging through the pages until she reached page 173.

_Nikki held his gaze as she took his wrist and drew his hand inside her robe. She tensed with a shiver as his cool palm rested on her breast. And he held her, warming. _

_Rook slowly lowered, bending himself to kiss her, but it wasn't fast enough for what was building inside Nikki. She clawed the front of his shirt roughly and pulled him to her. Her excitement made him come alive, and he fell onto her, kissing her deeply and drawing her close. _

_Nikki moaned, feeling a spreading warmth, and arched backward as she rose up to him. Then, sliding herself off the chair she laid herself down on her back on the flat of the rooftop. Their tongues reached for each other, searching in some wild, aching desperation. He untied the sash of her robe. She unbuckled his belt. And Nikki Heat softly groaned again and whispered, "Now. Now...," and moved herself to the long-past beat of the "Fire Down Below."_

"Wow." She breathed.

She heard a chuckle and she quickly turned her head to see Rick standing in the doorway to his bedroom.

"I was just– um, I was–" She stuttered trying to cover up her actions as she thought 'I was just reading the sex scene you wrote about us and fantasising about re-enacting them' was hardly appropriate.

"Reading your books?" He asked her.

"Well, your books."

"About you." He added.

"Are all the novels really about me?"

"You are Nikki Heat, so, yes."

"And you're Jameson Rook?" She asked.

"Do you think I am?"

"Well I was imagining you–" she coughed. "I mean, it just makes sense is all."

"Then I suppose I am." He smiled.

Would it be completely inappropriate to ask him about the multiple sex scenes he has written about her? If she is Nikki Heat and he is Jameson Rook then obviously he wrote it about them.

"So..." She started and she saw him smirk. "What?"

"Reading 'Naked Heat', are we?"

"Yes, Castle, and?"

"Were you reading page 178?" He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

"Page 178? There's more?!" She asked, clearly shocked.

"Ah, so you were reading those certain scenes?" He asked, clearly happy about it.

"No, not on purpose. I was reading page 173, I didn't know there was more."

"Quite a bit more, the next part is on page 178."

He took the book from her hands, and sat down with it, motioning her to do the same. He then turned the pages to this particular part and read it out loud to her.

_"And so you know? I'm good with rough."_

_"Oh, are you?" She reached down and took him in her hand. "How rough?" _

_He cupped a palm behind her head, lacing his long fingers through her hair. "Wanna find out?" _

_She gave him a squeeze that made him gasp and said, "You're on." _

_And then she gasped as he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Halfway down the hall, she bit his ear and whispered, "My safe word is 'pineapples'." _

"Why Katherine Beckett, are you blushing?"

"What? No! And don't call me Katherine."

She had to admit, Richard Castle reading a sexual scene that he wrote about him and her, to her whilst he was sat topless in a robe definitely made her blush. But, was she about to tell him that? Certainly not.

She sat directly across from him, watching him smirk as he saw how much being called Katherine bothered her.

"You know, Katherine," he started, putting emphasis on her name. "You have your own copies. I gave them to you as soon as they were published."

He reached over to the shelf behind her, as his chest brushed her shoulder she took in a deep breath. He grabbed a book from behind her and as he came to sit back down his face stopped an inch from hers. She could hear him breathing and he was just so close that subconsciously she closed her eyes.

Was she really going to do this? She hardly knew this man but he loved her. She didn't want to give him false hope; she didn't want him to feel as if everything would go back to normal. But, she really liked him and he made her feel special. She had loved him once... Why couldn't she love him again?

Her face edged closer to his as their lips brushed together Kate ran her fingers through his thick hair. It was a slow but innocent kiss. He brought his hands up to cup her cheeks as she moved her body backwards to allow him more access. She was now on the floor as he held his weight above her, neither one of them wanting this to end.

What was she doing? This was completely irresponsible and very uncharacteristic of her.

But Kate couldn't stop playing his words through her head 'She's extraordinary'.

She wanted him to believe that she could once again be extraordinary.

* * *

**Firstly all the scenes from 'Heat Wave' are in fact from the novel 'Heat Wave'. I had a copy by my side to make sure I had it word for word.**

**I hope you enjoyed this fluffy chapter and I didn't give in too soon!**

**But, come on! It's Kate Beckett and Richard Castle living together. They had to kiss, there was so much sexual tension going on!**

**It almost turned into a smutty chapter but I stopped myself!  
I hope you enjoyed it and keep the fabulous reviews coming!**

**I'M STILL DYING FROM THE BLOOPERS.**

**Iges, I simply couldn't write this without you.**

**Erin, you are my muse. **

**Insta: Crazyfor_Caskett Twitter: :elliscookie**

**Tweet me and it will make me very happy.**

**Ask NoOrdinaryLines she made me very happy!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the update, hope it's not too late!**

**Thank you for being so patient.**

* * *

Kate was laying in her bed awake, this time at 3.30 AM.

Stopping the kissing was the sensible and the right thing to do. Yes, she had feelings for Castle; half because he was a very handsome, best-selling author and half because she felt connected to him somehow. It was strange really; she didn't remember him or what they had, but Kate had never given up on something important to her. She forced herself to look at pictures, watch videos and ask questions to try and remember. Not just because she wanted to be with this man who adored her, but so she could regain this identity that the fall down the stairs had taken from her.

Despite what some may think, people do change. In the six years of her life that Kate had lost, she was unable to remember the miraculous change that had happened to her. She had let a man in to her life, her whole life. He knew of her vulnerabilities, he was aware of her flaws, he knew what drove her and he knew what could break her. Richard Castle knew her and not only was she willing to just let him in to her life, she was willing to accept Martha and Alexis. She was willing to be a family.

She wasn't going to try and deny this wasn't a change, because it was, it was a huge change and a very big deal to her.

When she had woken up in that hospital she had told her father she had no intention of going home with him, he was practically a stranger.

_"I know Katie but–"_

_"No dad, with all due respect, you don't know. You have no idea what this is like!" She told him, starting to feel a lump in her throat. "I have no clue who this man is!"_

_"Of course you do, he's Richard Castle! You love his books." _

_"Okay, fine, I know who he is, but I don't know this person he's claiming to be. My fiancé? Are you kidding me? One: I am not the marrying kind and two: he's Richard Castle how on earth did that happen?!"_

_Jim smiled at her. "I remember when you called me after your first case with him–"_

_"Case? He works with me? No, no, no, that would never happen." _

_"Well it did. So, can I explain please Katie?" She gave him a glare and he knew she was frightened as hell, but he knew that Kate understands things better when she has all the information and all the facts, so he needed to give them to her. "You were outraged, telling me how arrogant he was being and that there was no way him working with you was permanent, which is why I was so shocked when I found out about the two of you."_

_"There is no two of us. I am not going home with a stranger, dad, forget it." _

_He put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you think I would ever ask you to do something I wasn't sure of? You loved him Katie. You fell head over heels for this guy; as he did for you. I liked him for bringing that beautiful smile to your face every day. I trust him, Katie. Please just do this for me; do it for yourself." _

_"What if he thinks I can be that person, dad? What if he thinks it's all going to go back to normal? I have brain damage, I can't give him his fiancé back."_

_"No one is asking you to. I'm asking you to give him a chance." _

_The tears welling in her eyes suddenly over flowed and turned in to sobs. "Why can't I come back with you, daddy?" Her body started shaking with her cries and it broke Jim's heart. _

_He moved to sit next to her on the bed, as he wrapped his arms around her. "You know that's what I want, but it would be selfish, sweetheart. I know how hard it was for you to let Rick in, for you to be with him. It's not a secret that we've both had issues since your mom died, but we're finally moving forward." He stroked her hair, bringing it out of her eyes whilst she cried in to his chest. "I'm doing what's best for you Katie, please trust me."_

And now, she had kissed this so called stranger. She was not the same girl she thought she was. Kate believed she had power, strength, a sense of responsibility; of course all that was thrown out of the window where Richard Castle was concerned. He made her forget who she was supposed to be and showed her who she wanted to be.

Kate fell asleep thinking about him. Thinking about the way his lips felt on hers, how right and natural it seemed.

* * *

"Kate. Kate, wake up." Castle whispered as he rubbed her arm.

"Mmmm?" She replied sleepily.

"Kate, you gotta wake up."

"You gotta go back to sleep." She mumbled.

"Kate, your dad's here."

"What?!"

* * *

"Dad! What are you doing here?" She asked as she ran down the stairs.

"I just came to check up on you. You've got a big day tomorrow!" He looked her up and down, she was still wearing her pyjama shorts. "Were you still sleeping Katie? It's 10am, I've never seen you sleep past eight."

"I was, um, up late last night." She murmured, looking over at Castle sheepishly.

"Make sure you're not doing that tonight if you want to be back at work on time." He told her, acting like the father of a teenage girl.

"I can take care of myself." She smiled. "Plus, Castle's back tomorrow too, so I'm sure we will be fine."

Castle smiled at the word choice.

He stood quietly in the corner watching the two of them converse. He was also trying really hard to stop staring at Kate's lower half. She really couldn't have changed into pants before coming down stairs? It's just her legs were so incredibly long and toned. And last night when she had climbed on top of him to kiss him–

"Rick?" Jim repeated, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I asked you what you would be doing tomorrow."

"Well they've got Kate on desk duty, so, I suppose I'll just help out." Kate smiled over at him in appreciation. She knew he didn't have to go in tomorrow, she knew that he was doing it for her.

"I was about to head over to the diner if you want to join me for breakfast?" Jim asked the both of them; but before Kate could speak, Castle answered.

"I should probably write today," Lies. "Kate can join you though, right?"

"Yeah, of course... I'll just go and get changed."

Castle knew how hard it was for her to be living with him; he didn't want to invade her time with her father as well. So, Kate and Jim went for breakfast whilst Rick busied himself moving all of Kate's things into her room from his bedroom (which, he's not going to lie, broke his heart. It was a big step to be living together and even though they are in the same house, it's not the same thing. They seemed to be moving backwards). When she returned she thanked him and they lived out their normal days; not kissing on the floor of his office. She told him she would be getting an early night for work but they both knew she was just trying to avoid him; it had been awkward all day. He hoped for a better start tomorrow.

* * *

"Good morning, Katherine!" Castle called, in a sing song voice. He had favoured calling her Katherine since he saw how much it bugged her.

"Good morning Richard." She smiled, obviously irritated.

"Don't call me Richard."

"Don't call me Katherine." She fought back.

"Touché. I made pancakes in honour of our first day back at work."

"How sweet." She said in a patronising tone.

"Fine, it looks like it will just be me eating the pancakes then."

"You've made far too many to eat to yourself."

"Is that a challenge?" He asked and then proceeded to squirt a large amount of whipped cream in to his mouth.

"That is so unhealthy."

"Kate, the amount of whipped cream you have licked off of–" he coughed and looked embarrassed as he tried to change his response. "Off of the waffles that I make."

"That was a really shit save." She laughed.

"Yeah... you'd never imagine I was a writer, would you?"

"I would have never guessed." She replied stealing the whipped cream and squirting a large amount into her mouth.

"That was so hot."

She smirked. "We're gonna be late. You coming, Castle?"

He watched her walk out the door. "But I made pancakes." He mumbled, frowning.

"We can eat them at the precinct." She called and straight away is eyes brightened up.

* * *

"Beckett! You're back!" Esposito called out to her half way across the precinct, making Kate smile.

"And Castle!" Ryan interrupted.

"Hey guys, I've missed you!" Kate told them.

"Seriously?" Ryan smiled.

"No." Kate replied, smiling evilly.

"Harsh Beckett, harsh." Esposito told her, pretending to be hurt.

"I've missed you, if it's any constellation." Castle added.

"No, not really." Ryan said honestly.

Kate sat down at her desk looking around the precinct. Nothing had really changed. Of course, Roy wasn't here, which still hurt. She opened her desk draw and smiled when she saw a figurine there which reminded her of her mother. There was also a picture in her desk draw, one of her and Castle. Normally she would be fine, she had been seeing pictures of the two of them all over the house, but it was different; this was hers. She had put the picture of the two of them in a draw along with her reminders of her mother. Rick really did mean a lot to her; Kate was becoming more aware of that each day.

She had been quite for longer than was normal, just staring into her draw.

"Hey Kate, you alright?" Castle whispered.

Kate immediately brought her attention back to the room, hoping there weren't tears in her eyes. "What? Yeah, yes, I'm fine." She smiled falsely. "I'm just going to get a cup of coffee." She picked up her mug that was conveniently placed on her desk and walked to the break room.

"What's up with Beckett?" Esposito asked quietly.

Castle moved round to her desk to shut the draw. "I have no–" He paused as he saw the picture. "Idea." He finished quietly.

Esposito and Ryan moved closer so he could see what had taken away Castle's attention. They didn't understand at first, it was just a picture of the two of them, smiling and holding on to each other. It made sense for Beckett to have it there– then it dawned on them; this is not the Beckett who remembers her love for this man. Of course she was freaked out. All the boys were staring at the picture when a shout from Beckett broke their focus.

"Who the hell replaced our coffee machine?!"

Both boys pointed to Castle and he smiled nervously.

* * *

**I hope you like this half fluffy, half emotional chapter. I also hope it cleared a few things up. **

**Iges, you are my north star, my solid ground. **

**Quick thank you to Cindy Wylie and NoOrdinaryLines for leaving me lovely tweets. **

**I'm hoping to update again by the weekend, fingers crossed. **

**Twitter: elliscookie IG: crazyfor_caskett **


	7. Chapter 7

Kate had successfully completed another boring day of desk duty. Nothing out the ordinary had happened. Well, nothing out of the ordinary for someone with brain damage. This morning she sat and listened to Castle babble about why he bought her the coffee machine, and she couldn't disagree when he made her a cup; it was heaven in a mug.

She had a question on her mind that she really wanted to let loose, but Kate felt as if she wasn't ready. Castle had told her that they had made a breakthrough in her mother's murder; what breakthrough? What had happened? She really wanted to know... and that's exactly why she couldn't. Getting involved in her mother's murder destroyed her the first time around; it had destroyed her relationships, her friendships, her family; everything. She had a new start, did she really want to put herself through that again? She had a chance to save herself, if only she would take it.

It had crossed her mind not to delve into her past, start a fresh. But, she's Kate Beckett; her whole life is based on facts, she couldn't just move on. All those memories defined who she was, and without those, is she still the same Kate Beckett? Would Castle still love her if she wasn't... her?

Quickly she was snapped out of her thoughts.

"Kate."

No, that was not who it sounded like. She was dreaming or mishearing or hallucinating! Only, she wasn't and it was worse than she thought it would be. Why now? Why here? Why him?

She swung her chair around to face a distraught Will Sorenson.

"Are you okay?! I just heard what had happened and I rushed straight down here." Will babbled.

"Will? Aren't you meant to be in Boston?" Kate asked, calmly.

"Boston? Kate, you know I moved back, I told you the last time I was here."

Kate pointed to her head. "Brain damage, Will."

"Right, right." He looked down at the floor and up at her again. "Does that mean you're still mad at me?"

She folded her arms. "Well you kinda just left me, Will."

"That's not true, you could have come with me."

"To do what? Follow you around from state to state? You know it wouldn't have worked."

"I really missed you, Kate."

Kate avoided his eyes and looked at the floor. She couldn't believe he was here, the emotions still felt raw between them. To her it felt like just the other day he had packed up and left her standing there in their apartment. It felt like just the other day she sat and cried until she couldn't feel the pain anymore. This was all because of the man standing in front of her. Mad with him? She was furious.

Castle stood frozen in front the two of them for at least ten seconds. Will Sorenson? Seriously? What the hell was this guy doing here? No, he was not going to let him try and steal Kate away from him; she is his. He left her; he doesn't just get to take her back.

"Will! Hey, man." He shook his hand. (Real natural, Castle)

"Hi... Castle."

"What are you doing here?"

"One of the agents I worked with knows a detective who works here at the precinct and told me about Kate, so I came as soon as I heard."

"Well that wasn't necessary; I've got it all taken care of." Castle gave a fake smile.

"I think Kate can take care of herself, Rick. I simply came to see if she was okay."

"Yeah, why don't I believe that?" Rick asked, his voice changing.

"Wow, seriously guys; drop your pants and let's just get this over with." Kate rolled her eyes and continued. "Will, Castle's right, you really didn't need to come down here."

Castle smirked as Will spoke again. "But, I wanted to. Kate, you know that I will always care about you."

"Oh cut the crap Will. If you really cared about me, you would have never left in the first place. So, if you don't mind I have work to do." She strutted out of the room.

A moment of silence passed before Castle let out a slight chuckle.

"I completely forgot to thank you, Will. If you hadn't have been too stupid to realised how lucky you were to have a girl like Beckett, her and I would have never got together. So you can come here and try all you want, Kate and I are together, you're not going to change that."

Will leaned forward and his voice took a lower tone. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Castle. From what I hear, she doesn't remember you." He smirked at Castle's visible anger. "Which means, as much as you wish for it, in Kate's mind you are not together, and while she doesn't remember you, she does remember me. So, I think I'm winning here." He turned to walk away.

"Yeah she remembers what a complete asshole you are." Castle murmured.

* * *

It would seem that one's character changes when they feel threatened. Considering the circumstances, it was understandable. Kate remembers Will, which gives him an advantage already. Kate had loved Will, making the score 2–0. But, Will broke her heart, which gained Castle a point. However it didn't stop him from felling threatened.

Will had a way of getting into your head. He had a face that you just wanted to punch.

Ying needs another Yang, not another Ying.

"Hey, you okay?" Castle asked, popping his head around the door.

"I'm fine, Castle." Kate replied bluntly.

"You don't sound fine."

"Well, that may be due to the fact that I was lying."

Castle nodded and leant against the counter so he was facing her. "Look, Kate, I know I was acting like an ass back there–"

"You said it- not me." She mumbled.

"I know, but there's a good reason!" She glared at him. "There is! Not long after I met you, I had the... pleasure of meeting Will. Yes, you were mad at him at first but by the next night I came in and you were making out in the break room!" He gave a massive hand gesture to give it a dramatic finish.

She raised an eyebrow. "So, you're jealous?"

"What? Me? You think I'm jel– of course I'm jealous! You're my fiancé!"

He saw her face fall. "Yeah, well, I don't remember that, do I?"

"I know." He sighed. "But I do, Kate. I... I still love you."

Kate dropped her head and stared at her coffee cup. She took a small, daring step towards Castle and looked straight into his eyes.

"Don't give up on me yet, Castle." She whispered.

"Never." He replied.

* * *

**I'm so sorry that it's late! One word to explain it all: college. I know it's short but I have writers block! So suggestions for the next chapter will be greatly appreciated. **

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. **

**Erin, you are weekend. (wink wink)**

**Iges, thank you so much for your help.**


	8. Chapter 8

Kate welcomed another brand new day with a smile. Today would be better, today she would get answers. She started every day the same; she would smile and tell herself that today would be different. It was always different, but only because of her mental state. She would tell herself that today she would explore the life that she missed; try to understand, try to get some answers. However, Kate always chickened out. She chose to shy away from the truth, shy away from the burning questions; hide behind her accident. Because that's what Kate did when she was scared, she hid behind something bigger than herself. Just like she would hide behind her mother's murder or hide in her nowhere relationships, with men she didn't love. It was her way of avoiding the truth and the pain that came with it.

But, she swore to herself that today would be different; today she would dare to ask.

"Good morning Kate, I made you pancakes." Rick called to her whilst rummaging around the kitchen.

"Pancakes? Again? Well, don't I feel special." He chuckled from behind the counter. Kate leant over the breakfast bar to peer at him. "Castle, what are you doing?"

He quickly jumped up with syrup in his hand and then proceeded to hold it in the air like a trophy. "Can't make you eat your breakfast without syrup, especially when I know how much you like it."

A smile edged across her lips. "I do love me some sugary goodness."

"I think that's what drew you towards me. I'm sweet like sugar."

She rolled her eyes. "You keep telling yourself that."

He sat down beside her, applying a generous amount of syrup to his stack of pancakes. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"Well, I have work until 5.30, desk duty, as always." She gave a dramatic sigh, to which he matched with an exaggerated frown. "You are welcome to join me."

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Is pretty boy going to be there?" He spoke with disgust in his voice. It was clear Castle was no fan of Sorenson.

"Will? I don't think so. I mean, why would he be?"

"Let's see... So he can hit on you, insult me, threaten me, stare at your ass through the interrogation room window so you don't notice." Kate raised her eyebrow. "Which I do not do, ever."

"He can hit on me all he wants, I'm not going to fall for it. And, unlucky for you, I am not in the interrogation room today. You are such an ass, by the way."

"No, Kate, you misheard me. I am not an ass, I just like your ass." He gave a mischievous grin.

"You do know I carry a gun, right?"

"So I've been told."

* * *

There had been no sign of Will today, thank heavens. Castle was happy and Kate was pleased. Break was in five minutes and Kate had a plan to unleash. As soon as Castle went into the break room, she would follow him in and lock the door. Simple plan.

"Beckett, can you go to interrogation 1 and go over some paperwork with the lawyer, please? It's the Quimby case we talked about earlier."

"Sure Espo. Just make sure Castle doesn't follow me."

Castle whined in response. "You're no fun."

"Am I missing something?" Esposito asked out of curiosity.

"No." Beckett replied instantly.

"She doesn't want me to look at her ass." Esposito and Ryan snorted.

Beckett shut her eyes in embarrassment. She didn't share things like this with the boys, it was strange. Especially when involving her behind.

* * *

Kate was on her way back from interrogation, when she saw Castle in the break room making coffee. She took this as her opportunity. She walked into the room and closed the door, locking it behind her.

"Locking the door? Are we about to do something naughty?" Castle asked cheekily.

"I know that's what you were hoping for, but I'm afraid not."

He handed Kate her coffee and sat next to her, sipping his. He burnt his tongue and squirmed. "Ouch! My tongue! I hate that. You can never make it go away and it's constantly hurting. I can never taste anything for about a day afterwards–"

"Castle, I want to talk about my mother's murder." She interrupted.

Castle completely forgot about his tongue and was now worrying about how he was going to answer this. He couldn't tell her everything because she would go straight after Bracken and get herself killed. He had the chance to protect her. Beckett would never knowingly let Castle protect her; this seemed like the only option available to him... the only sensible option.

"I'm not asking for everything, I just need... something." She added.

Castle sighed but proceeded to answer her. "If I were to tell you now, it would probably send you over the edge again. You remember that time, don't you? When you were obsessed with your mother's case and you lost everything."

She smiled sadly. "What do I have to lose anymore? I've already lost the last six years." She paused for a moment, hesitant to continue. "I've already lost you."

He looked up at her, a serious expression on his face. "You didn't lose me Kate, I'm still right here. I'll be waiting right here, no matter how long this takes." He laced his fingers through hers and to his surprise (and also hers) she didn't move her hand away. This gave Castle the faith to continue.

"So, I know you don't trust me that much now. But there are people like Javi and Ryan and even your father, whom you trust without a doubt. If they were to tell you the same as what I'll tell you, would that be enough for you for the moment? Because none of us want to hurt you - and telling you everything would hurt you."

She looked up at him, her eyes glazed over. "I'm already hurt, Rick. I feel like I've lost myself. I feel like I've lost my mom and that she's lost the faith that she once had in me."

She had no idea how much this pained him, seeing her like this. He still needed to stick to what he knew was right. She couldn't know everything, not yet.

"Perhaps you could give all of us, and especially yourself, the time to remember on your own. And I promise you this, should you not remember in a year from now on, I'll tell you everything."

After a moment she nodded, agreeing, but clearly upset. "Can you tell me one thing?"

"It depends on what it is." He replied calmly.

"Did we catch them?" She asked, giving his hand a squeeze.

"It's taken you a hell of a long time, and a lot of effort, but yeah, we caught him." He squeezed her hand back and smiled.

"Did I– Did I hurt him?" She asked quietly, almost as a whisper.

"What do you think?!" She smiled at his response.

She stood so she was facing him, standing in the gap between his legs. She studied his face, his hair, everything about him and simply smiled. "Thank you, Castle. Thank you so much." She whispered, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing circles over it with her thumb.

He smiled back at her touch. "Always."

* * *

**Two updates in two days? I'm on a roll baby!**

**I hope you enjoy this deserved chapter. Your reviews are awesome. **

**Someone asked for this chapter, well they gave me the idea (I know you asked him to tell her everything but I couldn't just yet!) **

**I'm thinking of going for fluff but I don't want to do it too soon! **

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	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone. There's a couple of reasons why I haven't wrote in so long. One of those reasons is college, I'm getting a lot of work to do. Another is because basically I got a review and someone didn't really like the story so I was trying to take their advice on board and it took me a little longer. I hope you all like it and I'm sorry that it took so long. ** **The time frame may seem different from the show and that is because this isn't the show, this is a creation from my mind.**

* * *

'Twas a Wednesday morning in the Castle household. Last night events had left the living room in a big mess. Discarded chocolate wrappers and popcorn packets scattered all over the couch. A bunch of chick flicks laid out by the TV.

"I still can't believe Big ran out on Carrie. Who even does that?" Kate ranted in frustration.

It seems that one of the few perks of memory loss was that Kate got to watch some of her favorite movies and TV shows again. The bad news was that Castle also had to re-watch all of her favorite movies.

"Then after all of that mess, Carrie kissed another guy. I need Sex in the City 3 to come out." Kate continued.

"Kate, please! It was enough torture having to watch them, I don't need to relive them the next morning."

"Castle, I saw you crying at Carrie dropping the phone when she realized he wasn't coming!"

"What you saw was a bored man rubbing his eyes."

"I'm not buying it."

"I had to endure two Sex in the City movies, you owe me."

"I had to watch sex scenes with you, is that not payment enough?"

"Come on, it's in the title, you knew what we were in for!"

"Yes, but I didn't think you were going to make inappropriate comments all the way through it! 'Being fucked up against a car - Samantha has always been the classy one out of the bunch." She rolled her eyes for emphasis.

"You knew when you put the DVD on that I come with commentaries."

"I could have guessed before you told me. Okay, fine, since I caused you so much pain, you can decide what we do today."

"I was thinking that since today is your day off, we could go out for lunch." Castle replied whilst chewing on some of the leftover candy.

"Are you sure you haven't already eaten?" Kate laughed.

"This? No, this doesn't count."

"I wish I could think like that, but apparently my body (weight) does count it."

"Oh yeah, Kate, you're huge." He said sarcastically.

"Shut it, writer boy. Plus, you already bought all that ingredients for your 'sandwich creations' as you put it. It would be stupid to waste it."

"First of all, it's writer man. Man, Katherine; I am a man. Second of all, we could take it with us and go for a picnic?"

"A picnic sounds like a nice idea. I'll go get changed and you get the food ready, sound good?"

"Oh so you're not going in your jammies?" He joked.

Kate ran straight upstairs to her new room and opened up her closet. It wasn't normal for her to be getting nervous about a picnic with Castle, was it? It was two months today that she had gotten home from the hospital and Kate was starting to feel comfortable. She felt as if her and Castle had this thing going and neither one was sure of what it was. She was scared to admit it to anyone else and even herself that she felt something towards him... but she did. Hence the reason she was nervous to be going for a picnic with were a romantic thing, for people going on dates or people in love. No, she was over-thinking this, a picnic didn't have to be a date; it could just be a lunch arrangement. Even after thinking this through, Kate continued to rummage through her wardrobe, looking for something suitable to wear. Something nice, but not an outfit that showed she tried too hard. Subtle, but sexy. Sexy? No, not sexy, that is not what she meant to say.

There was a knock on her door.

"Kate, are you ready?"

"Just a second!" Kate shouted nervously.

She quickly grabbed her skinny jeans, a black vest top and her leather jacket. If anyone else had worn that outfit it would have looked as if they hadn't tried, but on Kate Beckett; it looked perfect.

"I'm ready." She smiled.

Castle tried really hard not to let his mouth drop at the sight of her, but his mouth had a mind of its own. It dropped, and he was pretty sure Kate noticed. He just couldn't seem to build the strength to close it; she had taken his strength away from him and he was weak at the knees._Pull yourself together, Castle, it's just tight jeans and leather._

What he proceeded to do after the jaw-dropping made his actions more embarrassing; as he held up the basket of food in front of her face, not saying a word, his jaw still hanging open.

"Are you okay, Castle?"

He made some sort of noise that was definitely not human as she bent down to get her purse.

"I'm good, I'm better than good... I mean not because- just 'cause we're going for a picnic and it's sunny outside and it's going to be a great day. You knew that already, well I hope you did- I have no idea why I'm still talking, so I'm going to stop right now. You look nice. And stopping now." He stopped to take in a deep breath.

Kate gave him a quizzical look. "Well I'm glad you're okay. Sorry, I'm glad you're good. No, wait, you're better than good, didn't you say?"

"Be quiet, and get out." He directed her out of the door with his hand on the small of her back, which surprised her but she didn't complain about it.

* * *

Thirty minutes later they were sat on a green, eating cherries out of a plastic box; laughing as they each failed at knotting a cherry stem with their tongue.

"I swear I can do this." Kate frowned, looking frustrated.

"Yeah, it looks like it." Castle laughed.

"No seriously, I can!" She sat in front of him with her face deep on concentration as her tongue moved around furiously in her mouth.

He sat and watched her for a few seconds, noticing her beauty in the glow of the sun. She started coughing loudly, choking almost. Castle quickly started patting her back.

"Shit. Are you alright?!"

She started to laugh, gasping for air. "Yeah, I'm fine! I think I swallowed my cherry stem. That's not going to harm me, is it?"

"You know what it will do? It will go to your stomach and soon more cherries will start to grow there and before you know it, you will be-"

"Castle, I'm not six."

"Oh right, yes, I was momentarily confused as you were choking on a cherry stem like a child."

"You're so funny." She replied sarcastically.

"It's one of my many great personality aspects."

"Like modesty?"

"I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"It wouldn't surprise me."

"Me either."

She smiled at him. "Do you know what was one great thing about waking up in that hospital?"

"Random, but I'll play. What?"

She smiled again, remembering a favorite moment of hers. "When I saw my dad rushing into my hospital room, I felt this wave of panic that he had been drinking; he's always drinking since mom died. When he started talking to me I asked him if he had been drinking and he smiled at me, but he didn't answer. Instead he put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a chip." She smiled, even bigger this time. "He got sober. It took him years of trying and failing to stay on that path; but he did it, Castle. He did it."

"I was waiting for the right time to give you this back." She looked at him confused. He slid his hand into the inside pocket of his blazer. "I've been carrying this with me since the accident; the hospital gave it back to me, I don't know why they didn't give it to you. Anyway, I was waiting for you to say something or maybe remember. So, here you are." He held her father's watch in his hand and placed it on her wrist. "This... is for the life that you saved."

She looked up into his eyes. "I saved him."

"I know you did."

"So do I. Castle, I'm telling you that I remember!"

He looked at her with his eyes wide.

"Not everything, I just remember the moment that he came to me and he told me that he had made it to a year. He showed me his chip and he hugged me and told me that it was all because of me. That I had saved him."

"You remember." He smiled.

"Not _everything_!" She added quickly.

"But _something_."

Their eyes both locked on each other, and they knew in that moment that they had a chance, that they had something to fight for. She was remembering. They got so caught up in the moment that they didn't realize how long they had simply been staring at each other; it had been at least two minutes of unbroken silence.

However, that silence did break, and not by what either one was expecting. A (gun) shot sounded in the near distance and panic spread straight across Kate's face in the blink of an eye.

Her body tensed and she froze, unable to move and not wanting to move. Castle was telling her words of comfort, reassurance maybe, but she couldn't hear. All Kate could hear was the beating of her own heart. Castle placed his hand on hers, trying to let her know that she wasn't alone, but even though she saw it, Kate couldn't feel it; all she could feel was her pulse hammering and the sweat on her back. Her body temperature kept increasing until it was almost unbearable. Kate jumped up quick as a flash and started to run. She had no idea where she was going, she just knew that it had to be away from here. Castle stood and watched as she ran into the woods near them. Running through the trees as he shouted after her.

"Kate, Come back! It was just a car back firing. Kate, it's okay!"

She stopped a few moments after and rested her back against a tree trunk, muffling her cries into her jacket sleeve. She didn't understand this feeling.

W_hat is happening to me?!_ She thought, full of panic and fear.

Subconsciously she put her hand up her shirt and rested it between her breasts, feeling the torn tissue. Her mind flashed images of Rick shouting her name and running towards her.

_"Kate! Stay with me, Kate."_

Her confusion increased as did her tears.

_"I love you. I love you, Kate." He said while he pulled her into his arms and held her tight._

She let out a frustrated scream. She didn't know that it was her PTSD acting up again. She didn't know that a sniper had shot at her, putting her in a battle to fight for her life. She didn't know, because nobody had told her, and that's why she felt more scared and alone than she had ever been.


	10. Chapter 10

**Don't hurt me! Yes, this update is way overdue and yes, I am so very sorry! I am still blaming it on college. I tried to make this chapter longer and better for you lovely readers who are being so patient. I apoligise once again for my laziness. But then again, maybe if I got some more reviews, I would hurry up!;) Please leave me a review and encourage me to hurry with the next chapter!**

* * *

Kate sat against the tree trunk with her legs curled into her chest as she remained breathing heavily. She couldn't comprehend the situation any more than she wanted to. When Kate had been given the news about her shooting, she half knew what this meant and tried to prepare for it. There had been some minor bumps, but nothing like this; this didn't feel like a bump, it felt like a mountain.

She was hoping to remember something good, something helpful in her recovery, not the experience of being shot in the chest and being tackled by her so called fiancé.

"I have PTSD. Let me just add that to my list of problems." She thought to herself, adding a short laugh at the life she had been given.

It was easy for her to grasp, now that it had happened. She knew she had PTSD and fully understood why, but she wished Castle would have told her this nugget of information sooner. It doesn't matter if it was a car back firing, it could have been a shooting and her panic could have cost her life if the shooter was on a killing spree. How was she meant to be a cop if she couldn't even handle one loud noise?

Kate sat on the dirty forest floor, covered in leaves, taking in deep breaths.

"Kate!" Castle shouted into the woods, for a fifth time.

He felt like an imbecile. How could he not know that this would happen in a situation such as this? It was rather inevitable that she would relive her trauma at some point, he wished he had explained that to her, so she didn't feel so confused; so alone.

"Kate, you're alright. If you can hear me, please, just find me." He shouted helplessly, wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

Then he heard it; a scuffle of leaves followed by heavy breathing. Before he knew it, a pair of arms was being clasped around his shoulders and a pair of legs wrapped around his waist.

Castle was taken slightly aback by this action; this was not a 'Kate action'. Maybe engaged Beckett but not 'I fell down the stairs, lost all recollection of you and I don't like being touched' Beckett. He wasn't complaining though. The closeness felt so much better after being absent for a long time. Her head tucked beneath his chin and her brunette curls tickling his face felt like heaven. Castle missed her very much. He wrapped one arm around her neck and the other around her waist; supporting her and making her feel loved.

The moment was over too soon and after whispering "I'm sorry" in his ear, she was retracting her legs and arms from his body which he detested. Just like that, her body was gone, the closeness was gone and once more like before, the old Kate, was gone.

"Can we sit down for a moment? I need to ask you a few questions." Kate told him. Her lips curled, trying to force a smile but clearly not having the energy. So the smile fell and she just looked at him.

"It feels like we're back at my first interrogation, except your hair was shorter and I was a bit more ruggedly handsome back then." He joked, trying to light up the conversation. He could see the smile in her eyes. It was something her eyes had always done quite often. Her eyes had always told him what she was thinking and feeling; what her story was.

"Short hair? Very bad move. I cannot imagine that looking too great."

"I'll show you a picture when we get home. It wasn't my favourite look but you definitely pulled it off." She smiled genuinely at his comment, but not much longer, she lost her smile and the focused look returned. "Right; the questions."

"Look, Castle, I know you don't want to tell me things that have happened in my life but I'm getting these... memories-" she stopped as soon as she saw his face light up.

Please stop looking so handsome and loving and kind. Please stop making me feel like I'm crushing a child's dreams when I have to tell you that I still don't remember you.

These thoughts went through her mind quite a lot, because he did this a lot. It wasn't easy for either one of them. She couldn't remember the love of her life, but in his situation the love of his life didn't remember him. She couldn't decide who was in the worst position.

"Castle, the memories are short flashes of a small situation. It is a big deal, but it's not a break through. Except in this case, the information I got from my 'flashbacks' was something I really wished I could have gotten from you."

"I couldn't tell you all of the things you've been through. You have been through so much, you're like a TV crime drama. You get into at least four things a year and nine out of ten times, I'm involved in that with you. I can't tell you all these things because one; I can't remember them all and two; what if it traumatizes you in some way?"

"This has traumatized me! I can't go running off into a forest every time I hear a loud noise. I need to know who shot me, Castle."

"What do you mean?" He tried to play dumb, it was believable most of the time.

"This is what I'm talking about. This hole in my chest, this hole in my life!" She unbuttoned the top of her shirt and ran her hands over her scar. "This bullet that made you tell me you love me. Just tell me who did it."

"So what? You can try and go after them and get yourself killed? No, it's not happening." After a moment Castle realized his eyes were not on her face and quickly brought them up to where they were supposed to be.

"Why did they even try to kill me? Does it involve my mom's case? Because I have been very patient about this, not letting me know about my own mother when the whole world does. I've listened to you when you told me it won't do me any good. Now it's time for you to listen to me when I tell you that not knowing is worse."

He tried to link their hands but Kate pulled away very quickly. Castle bowed his head and sighed.

"Kate, he's already dead. You already got him."

"Do you think lying to me is going to stop me from–"

Castle cut her off mid-sentence. "It's not a lie, Kate. We were trying to save your life with something very valuable to us and along the way we crossed paths with him. He tried to open up a safe that had something inside that could remove all of your protection and nothing would have stopped him from killing you, except the safe was rigged with explosives and blew him up. He's dead, Kate."

She let out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Promise?" "Scout's honor. Please can we put this behind us?"

"Wrong hand, jackass. Wait, you said that there was something valuable, some information that would save my life, do we have it?"

"It doesn't matter if we do or not, you're safe now."

"How do you know? How do you know that I'm safe? He could have had people working with him, they could try to get me any moment."

He knew he shouldn't have but Castle got impatient and all the information just flowed out of his mouth. "They won't come and get you because you went to Bracken yourself and threatened him. He's going to leave you alone, they all are. You're the one in control, you have all the power."

"Who's Bracken?" She asked.

"W-what?" He stuttered realizing that in his rant to her, he had let some vital information slip.

"You said that I went to Bracken. Who's Bracken?"

"Kate I don't–" "Castle!" She shouted. "This is my life! I appreciate what you're trying to do for me and I've not researched stories on myself, or tried to look for any information. When I first came home, you told me that I had been shot... It would have been nice to know I'd suffered from PTSD too but anyway, I have respected what you have asked of me. The thing is that it's now affecting me and how my life is going to pan out, so I need you to start talking."

"Yeah? Well I need you to remember who the hell I am and everything I've done for y–" Castle stopped himself.

"Go on. Finish it." She prompted.

"I didn't mean that, I'm sorry."

"Come on Castle. We both know that you've been far too patient so go ahead and tell me what you really think, that you don't want to wait for me. I expected this to come at some point, so just go ahead and say it."

Kate wiped away a falling tear from her cheek.

Castle hadn't meant to say those things, he just got irritated and it slipped out. It was understandable! How could he pretend that everything was fine? His fiancé didn't love him anymore, she didn't remember him and every time he tried to make his way back into her life like before, his attempt was rejected. He was back at the beginning; clawing for every inch of information she gave him. It wasn't fine and he didn't feel happy. How could he?

"Let's just go home, Kate."

"It's not my home, Castle, it's yours. I'm simply living there."

"Where did this even come from? I thought we were making progress! I thought that it was going to work."

"Yeah? Well I thought you were being sincere when you told me that you didn't mind waiting. When I pulled away from you, you said that you understood... but you don't. It's my fault; I was naive enough to believe it. I should have known that guys can't change, Will taught me that."

"Wait a moment. You mean your stupid ex-boyfriend? Don't even try and compare me to him! He's a complete ass!"

Kate shrugged. "At least he was an ass who told the truth."

"You know what, Kate, forget it. All I have done is try to make you feel comfortable and welcome, but you are throwing it back in my face. I know that this is scary for you and I know that you are doing your best; but so am I, Kate! And for you to stand here and tell me that I'm an ass when all I've done for the past five years of my life is try to look out for you; try and love you- no, I'm putting an end to this argument. I am far too angry to speak to you right now. I'm going home, I'll see you later."

He turned around and walked back out of the forest. Kate was stunned after Castle's outburst and she had to make her mind up about what to do. After a minute she came to a conclusion and started to go after Castle, when she thought she heard something.

She told herself to calm down and that she was most definitely imagining things. She had to take another deep breath before continuing to follow Castle. Taking another step forward she saw a shadow run across a tree. She was imagining things, most definitely imagining things.

She felt cold metal pressed against her temple and heard a trigger click. This was not her imagination. A man edged his head close to her ear, taking a deep breath and sending shiver through her body.

"Take another step and I'll blow your brains out."

* * *

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUN.**

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**Iges, I am very lucky to have you.**

**Homeslice? What a hoe you are;) Love you really.**


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